Prediction: Dallas Stars VS St Louis Blues 2025-09-30

St. Louis Blues vs. Dallas Stars Preseason Showdown: A Tale of Overconfidence and Shoelaces

Ladies and gentlemen, buckle up for a preseason clash that’s already written in the stars (or at least in the odds). The St. Louis Blues, fresh off a game where Dylan Holloway proved he can score without a net (or so it seems), face the Dallas Stars, who are being listed by bookmakers as if they’re the only team in the NHL. Let’s break this down with the precision of a Zamboni and the humor of a penguin in a hockey mask.

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### Parsing the Odds: Why Your Wallet Might Cry
First, the numbers. According to DraftKings, the Dallas Stars are priced at +1.04 decimal odds (implied probability: 96.15%) to win, while the St. Louis Blues are a staggering +12.0 (implied: 8.33%). For context, this is like betting on a snail to beat Usain Bolt in a 100-meter dash—only the snail’s odds would be more respectful. Caesars makes it even worse, giving Dallas +1.0 odds (100% implied probability—literally impossible unless the game is canceled). The spread? Dallas is favored by 2.5 goals, which is generous if this is a power play drill.

But wait! The Blues do have a trick up their sleeve: Pius Suter, Jordan Kyrou, and Justin Faulk are making their preseason debuts. Suter, the Swiss maestro who signed for $4.125 million, will center a line with Kyrou and Holloway—a trio so new, they’ve never even shared a team photo. Meanwhile, the Stars are presumably resting their stars after their Oct. 1 game, where Holloway torched them.

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### Digesting the News: Injuries, Shoelaces, and Boeing Drama
The Blues’ news is a mixed bag. On the plus side, Suter’s arrival adds Swiss precision (and a new haircut). On the minus? Their first three exhibition games were so lackluster, even the Zamboni operator walked out. Now they’re throwing Kyrou, Suter, and Holloway into the fire—like tossing three untested chefs into a Michelin-starred kitchen.

The Stars? They’ve got the resume of a team that’s already won the Cup, but their recent headlines are… colorful. While they dominated the Blues’ previous game (thanks to Holloway’s heroics), their off-ice news includes Boeing moving jobs out of St. Louis and Cori Bush’s congressional campaign (which, honestly, has nothing to do with hockey but somehow feels relevant).

And let’s not forget the Blues’ local drama: Sonny Gray’s no-trade clause, Nolan Arenado’s trade preferences, and a $16 million gift to a high school. It’s like the NHL’s version of Succession, but with more pucks and fewer Roy siblings.

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### Humorous Spin: The Absurdity of Preseason Logic
The Stars are being treated like the Golden State Warriors of the NHL, but this is preseason, folks! The Blues’ new line is like a startup tech company—full of potential, but likely to crash and burn. Suter’s $4.125 million contract? That’s enough to buy 83,000 hot dogs. The Stars’ goalie? If he’s as good as the odds imply, he’s probably a former circus acrobat who once caught a cannonball mid-air.

And let’s address the elephant in the room: Why are the Stars this favored? Is it because they’re from Texas and “Stars” sounds like a movie title? Is it because the Blues’ defense looks like a sieve that’s been attacked by a cheese gratater? Or is it because the oddsmakers are sleep-deprived and just hit “Enter” too soon?

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### Prediction: Will the Blues Even Score a Goal?
Despite the laughable odds, the Stars are the safer bet. They’ve got the experience, the rest, and the implied probability of a coin flip that’s been weighted with lead. The Blues? They’re like a rookie magician—full of tricks but likely to set themselves on fire.

Final Verdict: Dallas Stars 5, St. Louis Blues 1. Unless the Blues’ new line decides to go on a 500-foot slapshot binge, which would defy physics but not this preseason script.

Bet on Dallas, unless you enjoy the thrill of watching a long shot become a literal long shot. �🥅

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